Dear Internet,

What makes people honk at you?
Example.
I walked a mile or two today to get to the DMV. On the way I got honked and waved at by a guy I didn’t know, leered at by countless men, and heckled by a car full of teenagers. Seriously? What the hell makes these people think it’s ok to behave like that? It couldn’t have been my clothes (hair in a bun, jeans, sneakers, and plain brown tank top isn’t exactly come hither), I’m told I strut a little, but I’m just a twenty something girl walking around west-bum-fuck. Why do people insist on heckling? What are they thinking when they’re leaning out their windows leering?
I don’t get it.

One thing is for certain, I’m really sick of my pedestrian status. I want a car. Badly.

But now I’m back home, with my neurotic dog, watching “Bizarre Foods”.

So I think I have a world for my story this next month, trouble is I need conflict. It’s modern fantasy, faeries and unicorns, and lephracan’s and what ever the hell else I feel like. It’s fantasy but I’ve been told I’m not allowed to be romantic about. What’s is a girl to do? I suppose I could switch to the other piece I wanted to write this summer, but the trouble is that’s rather romantic and I was charged by a friend to write her a story that has no romance at all.

Romance. I talked to a woman once that didn’t believe in romance at all. She said it meant nothing. Her man gets her a flower, “That’s sweet,” she supposes, “but why does he bother?” She didn’t seem to understand that it isn’t empty sentiment, all these little things, tokens and moments over a breakfast they made you. It’s another way to say “I love you, I support you, I adore you”, it’s another way to talk when words fail you, when “I love you”, or “I’m sorry” feels too simple to communicate depth of feeling. It is no less valid than those words. Romance isn’t nothing, it’s never nothing. Though it certainly is over done in the stories we tell.
…It’s not nothing. But then she never did make sense for more than a moment or two, and the sense she made a moment ago might very well not correlate at all with what she said later. So I suppose what she had to say can be discarded as rubbish. *Crinkles brow in distaste, raises glass*
To the new and the now! To romance and love, amour!

*Glances at clock* I should get walking, I have work.

Raise your hand if you’d rather be sleeping! *waves good bye*

Hello to the Internets (and you few people who know me and might remember this),

I apologise Internet, I have forsaken you for books, fun and frivolity, projects, and women. But I have returned to fulfill this strange need so many of us suffer from. The need to share.

So, to business!

I have a lot of thing on my plate this summer, and I keep adding more. In the main-
- Pass my summer course in grammar
- Write-write-write
- Finally get my freakin’ license (I’m 20, you’d think I’d have it by now…)
- Learn to sew
- Practice ASL for fall course
- Exercise
- Read
- Start a comic
- Work at the library
There are a number of other smaller projects, but these are my focus for the next 3 months. Yeah, I know, good luck to me.

So tomorrow I start my hunt for the fabled five hour course by stopping into the cup and ball game that is my local DMV. It’s a mobile thing, they move it from one place to another for convenience sake… my ass. Lucky for me, it’s just a 20 minute walk from my house tomorrow.

My grammar class starts next Monday, god I hope this goes well. As you may have noticed, and those who know me know all too well, my grammar is lacking. So I set myself up for grammar boot camp. Joy of joy’s. It’s a necessary evil. I’m sure I’ll be complaining about it at some point. My course is at 8 in the morning, and that is the ass crack of dawn for a college student.

As to getting in shape I’m going to try and start doing laps at the pool. I also picked up a DVD on belly dancing… it might be best if I start with the swimming and build up muscle before I go and do a thing like that.

I think if I can get myself started on a comic I’ll start posting it here and if I manage to remain dedicated enough I’ll pay one of my more computer savvy friends to set me up with a website for it. So I suppose that’s something to look for here in the future.

I have a month coming up here, and I know if I’m going to start a novel this summer I might as well set myself up with my own NaNoWriMo style writing run. But I have to think of a place to start first. I have a number of idea’s that I’ve kicked around in the past, a lot of stories started but never finished, that’s a goal for this summer. Finally finish something. We shall see, we shall see….

Also, if I’m going to start sewing, I should probably start on a project, but for the life of me I can think of nothing. My girl lent me a book on it, I should probably thumb through that first.

As to reading for the summer, I need to read the plays the college is putting on for the fall, I start working there (paid and everything!) then. Like I know what I’m doing *adds studying theater to the list*. *sigh* Currently in my stack I’ve got-
- The Early Diary of Anais Nin
- Normal, by Amy Bloom
- In the Family Way, by Lynne Sharon Schwartz
- Howl and other poems, by Allen Ginsberg
- Alice in Wonderland, by Lewis Carroll
- The Outsiders, by S.E. Hinton

We shall see what I can get done. We shall see, we shall see….

I am officailly  getting old. I know this because I went to an amusement park with 3 of my friends last Thursday and we didn’t fight. No one in the group ever threw a hissy fit about not getting their way, we walked at a leisurely pace and no one need, absolutely had to try, to win some ugly stuffed toy. I was pleased by this, and felt relaxed and not exhilarated by the whole experience. That is how I know I’m getting old.

I went to see The Dark Knight twice…in the same day…I had my reasons. And I have to say I wasn’t so sad about Heath Ledger being dead before (I didn’t see A Knights Tale until a year ago which is, as I understand it, the way that most girls came to love him), but after seeing his take on the Joker, I am really very sorry that he is no longer amoung the living. He was absolutely fantastic. I have never hated and loved a movie character so much. I also haven’t enjoyed a movie so much in years.

After the movies, there was camping. From Friday night to Sunday afternoon. Interesting experience, that. It rained most of the time and I barely slept. I think the best parts were getting to throw a frisbee around which I really enjoy doing and rarely do, and being introduced to cheese burger pizza. I have about 30 bug bites to show for the whole thing and I’m hoping they’ll clear up before I have to be all pretty for my cousins wedding in a week and a half. My brother in-law commented that I look like a leper, or maybe he said leapred. Hmmm, anyway.

And throughout all of this I’ve been pondering what it means to be an adult and what the criteria is for being one. Still working on the check list, I’ll probably post it at somepoint.

By the way, you all remember Jay and Silent Bob? Yeah, there’s this movie called “Lady is a Vamp”, don’t bother. Really. Don’t. Unless you happen to like soft core, vaguely humorus, bad vampire movies. Then by all means.

“I’m geekin’ out here!”
-Syndrome, The Incredible’s
(And now you know.)

In this age of the endless hyperlinks, and a culture truly ruled by fans I find my self in wonder at the powers of the new god, the Internet. I’m not even sure how to explain what I mean by that.(Best example, Harry Potter.)

I picked up a copy of Frank Beddor’s The Looking Glass Wars knowing nothing about it but that it was an Alice in Wonderland parody. I read the novel and found it fascinating, an imaginative and interesting take and twist on the whole story from beginning to end. And because of that I found it almost totally unsatisfying. Beddor didn’t go deep enough for me, and deeper only takes a few more words, a few more sentences to please me. The action was high and kept building with a pace and ingenious that I find envious. The ending however was dissatisfying, it was rushed and the lack of explanation, and detail was so glaring I found it even harder to enjoy the story. However this disjunction between reality and imagination that Beddor portrays in Alyss’s world (that seems to be very purposeful) goes just a little too far for me. As gaps open in the narrative we try hard to stay on the same page with him, it’s obvious he’s brilliant, however writing the equivalent of the statement “like, you know, with the thing!” is less so. As the story went on I felt like begging the author for more, more description, a tighter narrative. I understand and like the placement and use of some of these gaps but some seem just so glaring that it became difficult to continue to read. I feel as though the author didn’t do his own vision justice.

Come to find out, that apparently there are other books to go with this one, one after the end of the current narrative, one for Hatter alone, and a card game. It seems people that like to fill in the gaps and I’m just greedy.

A friend directed me to the website, where I’ve discovered music inspired by the book, and a movie in the making. Is this a normal practice I was not aware of? Writing books that are in and of themselves teasers, addictive, artful trailers to merchandise; a lure to bring you into the world the writer has made so that you will stay awhile? I don’t know how I feel about that. This doesn’t seem to be malicious, but I don’t know how I feel about the change in media and approach to story telling that this seems to represent.

Looking into Frank Beddor himself, it seems he’s a producer/free style skier/veritable renaissance man, and the movie is entirely his own idea with help from friends and associates in the industry. Well that all makes a little more sense now. I had wondered why it felt like I was reading the narrative of a film.

Why does everything need a card game? Who’s playing them all, really?

…..

I suppose understanding now that the whole thing is headed toward being a movie, it says more about the movie industry diversifying and trying to make a better connection with the reader/viewer and less about a globalized inability to appreciate subtlety and detail, or to pay attention that has become so grievous that everything has to make noise, have flashing lights, and read like someone made a narrative out of cliffnotes.

Still, this doesn’t explain the utter lack of originality in today’s mainstream media.

More on that later, I’m sure.

I spent 3 hours last night writing out 5 year plans, and I’m starting to come to the conclusion that I’m going to have to get a job at Wal*Mart while I’m in college. The main issues I have are 1) Wal*Mart is evil, 2) I don’t know if I’ll have enough time if I start a job outside of school. 16 to 19 hours (depending on how they workout) in classes, 4 washing dishes, 10 or so for work-study, and 56 hours a week assuming I sleep 8 hours a night. All that leaves me somewhere around 72 hours of homework-eating-living-transitions-writing-exercising-socializing-and-so-forth time a week, take away 20 to 30 hours if I get a job. I’m not sure if that’s do able, 52 to 42 hours that is. Maybe if my prof’s had given me the reading lists like I asked and I had a buffer crop of short stories to use in advanced fiction workshop, but I don’t have either. I’m not a fast reader or writer and I’m taking 4 English courses and 2 history courses, I need my spare time badly. Ugh. Maybe I should tell them to forget about the work-study, quit the dining hall, and work at Wal*Mart on the weekends. It would probably be the most sensible move.

Having trouble deciding which of the 8 story’s I’ve got started to dedicate my time to.
1)The one with the fish (I know where this is going)
2)The fantasy one (I know where this is going, and damn it’s gonna take forever to get there)
3)The other fantasy one (I know where this is going, but it needs work)
4)The one about the apartment (I have no idea where this is going)
5)The one with the stripper and that other guy (See above)
6)The one about growing up (See above)
7)The one with the bomb shelter (See above to the tenth power)
8)The poem one with the pregnant lady (Not sure where it’s going either)
My best bets are probably 3, 4, and 5. The rest are just too much work or research. Ugh.

On to talking about something more interesting then my rambling inner dialogue and woe’s.

Oh why bother, you’re just skimming anyway.

In other news I’ve started working out some. I did something good/stupid the other day and went for a 1 hour and 15 min walk in 96 degree weather. Dumb, good that I got out, but dumb. I have the blisters to show for it, those are so going to suck when they pop.